PREVENTING AND REPAIRING GENDER-IDENTITY DISORDER
What if someone said to you that no one has to be gay? What if someone said that the gay lifestyle is a choice, not an orientation? There is a great deal of misinformation in the world today concerning gender-identity disorder. Many think that they are born with same-sex attraction but, actually, this has never been proven. Instead, much research shows that this condition is developed through a process of thinking and conditioning.
How does thinking and conditioning lead a person into having gender-identity disorder? It can happen when boys start to perceive themselves as being different from other boys at school. Similarly, girls may have the same perception of themselves as being different. They may have been made to feel different by others at school who don't accept them. This becomes a seed which grows in them as they reflect on these feelings more and more. Other factors then come into play. Perhaps the boy has a very negative experience with his father. Perhaps his father is rough and abusive and, as a result, the boy hates everything masculine. This can lead to him, in his own mind, becoming more and more like a girl. Or, perhaps he does not have a father in the home at all. This makes it much harder for the boy to develop positive feelings about manhood. In fact, any dysfunctional home can set up a child for gender- identity disorder. The turmoil that the child feels can be processed in different ways, one of which is manifested in this kind of sexual deviation. Then when children are introduced to a same-sex experience by a friend, they become vulnerable. When they do experiment with same-sex activity, the experience is affirmed by the partner who has become a friend and a support. This is part of the conditioning. The boy or girl is very vulnerable. Once the boy or girl has made the experience known, often other heterosexual friends drop them as friends and they feel like they have burned the bridges behind them. Many times, the only ones who accept them are others with this disorder, or so they feel, and, so, it is difficult to leave this lifestyle.
If gender-identity disorder is a result of thinking processes and conditioning, then what can parents do to help protect their son or daughter against developing gender-identity disorder? Firstly, if you have a dysfunctional marriage, start there. Face your own problem head-on, pray for help and get counselling. Build a strong functional home and the chances of your child becoming gay will be slim. Invest quality time into your family. Set examples your children will want to follow. A boy who has been loved, affirmed and mentored by a strong and kind father-figure is very unlikely to develop gender-identity disorder. Conversely, a girl who has been loved, affirmed and mentored by a strong and kind mother is more than likely to steer away from the path of same sex-attraction.
What are signs to look for that may indicate that your child is prone to gender-identity disorder? One sign would be that of your children coming out and saying that they are really the opposite sex, or if your child cross-dresses as the other sex. Also, if there are instances of cross-sexual roles in their games, playing or making believe, this may be an early indicator. If they have strong desires to be involved in games or activities that are usually practiced by the opposite sex, or if they strongly want to play with friends of the opposite sex and not other children of their own sex, this also could be an early indicator. All of these things should be taken seriously by parents. However, it should be stated that girls abandon these types of behaviors much more easily than boys do and, in the case of girls, all, except for the first sign mentioned, may just be normal tomboy phases that they pass through.
Reparative therapists talk of the three “A”s in helping children adhere to proper identity. They need affection, attention and approval. Without healthy, steady doses of these requirements provided by a parent of the same sex, a child will grow to resent that parent and, possibly, their gender. Fathers and mothers must work on strengthening their bonds with their children. As one parent is trying to strengthen this bond, it is equally important that the other parent does not impede his or her efforts. If there is tension in the marriage and if this tension involves one, or both, parents putting down the other or the other's gender, then this will, possibly, do injury to their child's developing sexual identity.
Another important rule for parents to follow is, if in counselling over your child's same- sex tendencies/attractions, to find out from your counsellor what their views are concerning gender-identity disorder. If they do not view this kind of behavior as a disorder, you have the wrong counsellor. They are a part of the great world of misinformation. Regardless of how many degrees they have, they will not be able to help you with your problem because they don't really view it as a problem. They might even say, “Don't worry, your son is just getting in touch with his feminine side.” This is not the kind of advice that you need. Your child's future relational, sexual and spiritual life is too important to have the wrong advice directing them at this pivotal time.There are counsellors out there who will handle gender-identity disorder for what it is, a disorder.
What should a single mother do for her son who has no father in the home? She should find a healthy, male role model for her son and find ways of including this role model in her son's life. Also, she should encourage masculinity in her son. Be a mom, but do not smother him with mothering activities.
Some individuals struggling with gender identity-disorder are surprised to learn that the condition is treatable and that many people recover from it and lead heterosexual lives. The National Association For Research and Therapy of Homosexuals (NARTH), is an organization founded by psychiatrists who believe that gender-identity disorder is fully treatable. It is an organization that, by 2007, had swelled to 1,500 members. They report:
"Based on our review of 600 reports of clinicians, researchers, and former clients - primarily from professional and peer-reviewed scientific journals, we conclude that reorientation treatment has been helpful to many and should continue to be available to those who seek it. Further, mental health professionals competent to provide such care ethically may do so.
1. There is substantial evidence that sexual orientation may be changed through reorientation therapy.
Treatment success for clients seeking to change unwanted homosexuality and develop their heterosexual potential has been documented in the professional and research literature since the late 19th century. What Research Shows reviews 125 years of clinical and scientific reports which document that professionally-assisted and other attempts at volitional change from homosexuality toward heterosexuality has been successful for many and that such change continues to be possible for those who are motivated to try. Clinicians and researchers have reported positive outcomes after using or investigating a variety of reorientation approaches." 1
The fact that same-sex attraction is reversible is often challenged by gay advocates. However, study after study confirms that people can change their orientation from gay to straight. Homosexual activists have entered, and influenced, many areas of society, even the educational system. Many times, groundless propaganda is passed off as fact by professional people. One university textbook reads;
“Decades of research all point to the fact that sexual orientation is not a choice, and that a person's sexual orientation cannot be changed. Who one is drawn to is a fundamental aspect of who we are.”2 Although sources, such as this, maintain that same-sex orientation is genetic, it is well understood that many lesbians report making entry into such a lifestyle in midlife, after marriage or divorce to the opposite sex, and without having had feelings of same-sex attraction previously. This shows that they were not born this way but that they changed through conditioning. That they also can change back to heterosexuality, is shown by the following report:
Dr. Reuben Fine, Director of the New York Centre for Psychoanalytic Training, remarked: 'If patients are motivated to change, a considerable percentage of overt homosexuals (become) heterosexuals.' Dr. Bernard Berkowitz and Mildred Newman: 'We've found that a homosexual who really wants to change has a very good chance of doing so.' Dr. Edmund Bergler concluded after analysis and consultations with 600 homosexuals over thirty years: 'Homosexuality has an excellent prognosis in psychiatric/ psychoanalytic treatment of one to two years duration ... provided the patient really wishes to change. Cure denotes not bi- sexuality, but real and unfaked heterosexuality.' After twenty years of comparative study of homosexuals and heterosexuals, Dr. Irving Bieber wrote: 'Reversal (homosexual to heterosexual) estimates now range from 30 percent to an optimistic 50 percent.' Bieber followed some of his psychoanalytical clients for as long as ten years and found they had remained exclusively heterosexual.' Dr. Charles Socarides said: 'There is ... sufficient evidence that in a majority of cases homosexuality can be successfully treated by psychoanalysis.' Scientists Masters and Johnson, after work with sixty-seven homosexuals and fourteen lesbians who requested reversion therapy, reported a success rate of 71.6 percent after a follow-up of six years. Although they have been criticized for serious flaws in their post-therapy follow-up and assessment, it seems certain they produced many real and lasting reversions.3
Even the renowned Dr. Robert Spitzer has come out and said that same-sex orientation can change and is not fixed. Who is Dr. Spitzer? He was a member of the American Psychological Association, and was probably the most influential psychologist in turning that organization in the direction of supporting homosexuality. He was regarded as one of the biggest friends of the gay and lesbian community, until he made the evidence of his research known; he has since suffered a fury of backlash from this community.
It will surprise many readers that gender-identity disorder, for many people, just wears off on its own, even without counselling. In fact, this is especially true of young people. A study was done by USA ADD Health Survey – Savin-Williams and Realm, which discovered that a large number of 16- year-olds who claimed to have same-sex attraction usually had their feelings wear off by the age of 17. In this study, a very small percentage of those who said they had same-sex attraction at age 16 still had this attraction to the same sex when they were 17. Further study showed that of those males who report same-sex attraction at age 17, by age 22, 75% had switched to opposite-sex attraction. 4 It can be concluded that same-sex attraction is not fixed but is changeable and, for young people, is usually reversed on its own.
Imagine the rage of a teenage boy who, although he has friends, has experienced some level of rejection in his life, either at home or at school. This rejection, however small it may be, is enough to generate some feelings of not fitting in at school. He meditates on these thoughts. He is introduced to a group of gay teens. They befriend him and this acceptance is intoxicating. They argue that their lifestyle is fine and that they were born this way. He starts to question his own sexuality and may even feel some attraction to the same sex. He comes out of the closet and announces that he is gay. In the extremely cliquey, image-sensitive teen culture, that he is a part of, all of his straight friends reject him, including members of both the same and opposite sexes. He lives with the stigma for a year and then realizes the feelings that he had, or thought he had, have worn off. He is not gay, but he has crossed over into this world and feels like he has burned the bridges behind him. If he has participated in this lifestyle, he may even have a sexually-transmitted disease. His name and his reputation have been used. Imagine the inner rage that he might feel, if he learned that losing these feelings is the usual experience, the normal experience, of most people his age who thought that they were gay. Whether he comes to understand this, or not, he is deeply frustrated by his experience and his choices. Is he a sinner, responsible for his actions? Yes, but he is also a victim. He is a victim of gay activism. Sadly, most school officials will not offer protection from this kind of victimization. It is not responsible for a school counsellor to affirm the same-sex attraction feelings of someone who is an adolescent.
How can one know that gender-identity disorder is reversible? He can find a reassuring answer in the Bible. It is the Bible which condemns a homosexual lifestyle as sin. It says; “Thou shalt not lie with mankind, as with womankind: it is abomination.” (Leviticus 18:22). However, the Bible also says; “If the Son therefore shall make you free, ye shall be free indeed.” (John 8:36). Friend, the Bible extends the hope of freedom to those bound in sin. Come to Jesus Christ to find this freedom and forgiveness. Put your faith in Him and commit your life to following Him.
Even though schools are unlikely to protect a young person from the exploitation of gay activist groups, there is somewhere that a young person (or someone of any age) can turn, the Church of Jesus Christ. The person who struggles with gender-identity disorder can come to a Bible-believing church where he or she may be shown love. It will be a tough love that maintains that the gay/lesbian lifestyle is sin and must be repented of. Facing such a truth is a major step towards wholeness. Even more important a step is to repent and put faith in Jesus Christ as Lord and Savior. With Jesus in a person's heart, the battle to overcome gender identity-disorder is very winnable, although a person's attractions may not change immediately. There may be a process of healing. Reparative counseling is available by organizations such as NARTH. There is great hope for all who will come and make their surrender to God and to His way. God bless you.
1. “What Research Shows: NARTH'S Response to the APA Claims on Homosexuality.” (Summary)
2. William Laverner, Ed. Taking Sides. (U.S.A.: McGraw-Hill/ Dushkin, 2006), 287.
3. Dr. Neil Whitehead and Brian Whitehead, ''My Genes Made Me Do It.'' Www.mygenes.co.nz
4. Savin-Williams & Realm, 6, “Prevalence and Stability of Sexual Orientation Components During Adolescence and Young Adulthood.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 36, 2007, pgs. 385-394.
Brown, Michael Ph.D. Homosexuality, The Church and Society. Producer, Bill Coleman.
City On A Hill Productions, 2007.
Brown, Michael Ph.D. Can You Be Gay and Christian? Producer, Bill Coleman.
City On A Hill Productions, 2007.
Laverner, William. Ed. Taking Sides. U.S.A.: McGraw-Hill/ Duskin, 2006.
Nicolosi, Joseph Ph.D., and Linda Ames Nicolosi. A Parent's Guide To Preventing Homosexuality. Downers Grove: InterVarsity Press, 2002.
Savin-Williams & Realm, 6. “Prevalence and Stability of Sexual Orientation Components During Adolescence and Young Adulthood.” Archives of Sexual Behavior 36, 2007.
“What Research Shows: NARTH'S Response to the APA Claims on Homosexuality.” (Summary)
Scripture taken from the King James Version.